Adoption: Through The Eyes of an Adoptive Mother

Look at these two little beacons of light in a sometimes dark and dreary world.  They fill my life with joy, hope, and happiness.  They motivate me to do better and be better.  My life has purpose and meaning with them in it.  They are mine through the gift of adoption.  But, not mine and mine alone.  I share them with two beautiful women who brought them into this world.  Some call them birth-mother's.  I call them angels.

In light of recent news regarding adoption I wanted to share my experience from an adoptive parents' point of view.  These are MY feelings.  I don't expect that all adoptive parents share these same feelings.  I know that every adoption is unique and every person experiences something different because of perspective.

For as long as I can remember I have loved children.  As a teenager I took on babysitting jobs not only as a way to earn cash, but because I loved kids.  When my hubs and I were dating and engaged we talked about having a family.  We wanted four or five children.  Never once during those conversations did the idea even cross my mind that we may not get pregnant.  After being married for about six months we decided we would try to start our family.  My immature self expected to get pregnant within the first month.  It didn't happen.  Several months passed and I didn't get pregnant. Finally, after a year I decided maybe I should see a doctor.  At that point I started taking fertility medications, giving myself monthly shots and running numerous tests and procedures.  Months turned into years and still no babies.  There were days my heart ached and the tears flowed freely.  It seemed everyone around me was having babies; friends, sisters, sister-in-laws, cousins.  It was so unfair.  I was mad at God for blessing others with children when I couldn't have one.  I was mad at those single girls who became pregnant because they weren't deserving.  I was mad at the women who lived in poverty, did drugs, or abused their babies and could get pregnant and I couldn't.  Why would God allow such a thing?  Why was I being punished?

Eventually, I realized I wasn't being punished.  I realized too, that good things happen to bad people and I realized that those single pregnant women would be two of the greatest human-beings I would ever meet and love.  Once I decided to realize that God knew what was best was when things started to change.  I'll never forget leaving the University of Utah hospital after meeting with an infertility specialist.  We had two options if we wanted to become parents: IVF (In vitro fertilization) or adoption.  Although I remember crying from disappoint, I also remember a sense of relief  to FINALLY have answers so that we could move forward.  IVF would cost thousands of dollars and we gambled with a 50/50 chance of  ending up with a baby.  We decided we would rather put our money toward adoption.  People ask me if money weren't an issue would we have done IVF.  Probably not.  I was so over being pricked and prodded and medicated.  Infertility med's are not kind.  I gained weight, experienced hot flashes that even a menopausal woman couldn't compete with and was moodier than a premenstrual teenage girl.  On that day we decided adoption was for us and it left me feeling happy, anxious and hopeful.

The road to motherhood was still filled with bumps, twists and turns.
Hoop #1:  Money.  They say money can't buy happiness but in our case it could, and eventually, it did!  We patiently saved and tried to get our finances in order.  We saved to buy a house or a baby; whichever came first.

Hoop #2:  Adoption classes. Ugh! For me this was painfully awkward.  I had no desire to sit around with complete strangers and cry about not becoming pregnant.  By the time we got to this phase I was over infertility.  The last thing I wanted to do was to hash out the feelings I had felt for the past five years.  That, and I prefer grieving in the privacy of my home.

Hoop #3: Paperwork. If you thought buying a house was a lot of paperwork try adoption.   Imagine having to apply for parenthood.  We did exactly that! We submitted bank statements, letters of recommendation, background checks and proof of good health from our doctors.  On top of that we had to talk about our relationship which included intimacy questions and how we deal with conflicts and problems.  The form I hated filling out the  most was the one that included a list of check-boxes where we had to choose what kind of child we would accept.  How about an infant? A toddler?  Hispanic or African-American? A child with birth defects or cerebral palsy?  We weren't talking about choosing what car to buy but a human-being.!  Do you know how guilty I felt leaving certain boxes blank?

Hoop #4:  The home study.  Picture a house inspector making sure your house is clean, sanitary, safe and fit for a child.  Talk about pressure!  Every electrical outlet covered, every cleaning agent out of reach, and fire extinguishers, carbon monoxide, and fire alarms set in place.

Hoop #5:  We WAIT!  The fate of our parenthood was out of our hands.  The only thing left for us to do was pray and spread the word to family and friends.  Did you know that often times that is how adoptive couples find adoptive mothers is word of mouth?  Our birth mothers found us because they knew someone that we knew.  Did you know that the day we moved into our house we received the phone call from the adoption agency that we had been picked to be parents?  The waiting period of being chosen by a birth mother was over but we still had to wait for baby to arrive.

Do you know the roller-coaster of emotions that accompany adoption?  Guilt, joy, heartache, charity, disappointment, loyalty, pressure, and humility just to name a few.  For me, the guilt came from feeling so excited and happy to have this child come home with me and knowing that our dear birth-mother's left empty handed and brokenhearted.  Guilt because I had grown to love these birth-mother's like family.  They became my sisters and I hated to see them ache.  Pressure to be the best mother to these babies in order to not disappointment the birth-mother's and their families. Disappointment came when I wanted to take my sick leave to be with my baby but couldn't because I hadn't actually given birth.  Five weeks of sick leave I had saved, but my employer said no.  They would give me the time off alright, but I couldn't get paid for it.  I felt cheated once again that because I couldn't give birth I didn't have the same rights as all mothers.  Aside from that, I feel humbled to have such a privilege of experiencing adoption and to witness such pure, Christlike love emulated by our birth-mother's, and I will feel forever indebted and loyal to them for their gift and sacrifice.

My point in writing this is not for people to feel sorry for me or any other adoptive couples. It isn't meant to persuade anyone to adopt or place a child for adoption.  My purpose is for people to realize that yes, even though the adoptive couple ends up with the baby they went through a lot to get there.  Even through all the years of heartache and pain, I would go through it again to have met our angel birth mother's and these two little angels that make our world's go round.

Something Old- Always Wear Clean Underwear

It's time again for "Something Old."  This time I pulled a post off of my private family blog.  That was the blog I started when everyone was blogging.  The one where I posted EVERY vacation, event, or picture ever taken of my kids or family.  I lost interest.  It started to feel more like a chore than a hobby.  Not to mention I didn't feel "real."  I felt like I was only showing the "best" of my life.  When in reality not everyday around here is perfect.  Far from it.  So I started this blog.  I enjoy blogging again.  It's fun and therapeutic.  A great place to tell it how it is and keep it real.  I know many of you out there have lost your drive for blogging.  I know because I check your blogs that haven't been updated in months.  I know because I've talked to you and so many feel the same way...blogging has become a chore.  So here's what I suggest.....try a new approach.  Try writing your true, hearfelt feelings.  Blog about what you're passionate about.  Share what you believe and blogging will become fun again.  I loooove to read about real people living real lifes!  It's what keeps me motivated as a wife and mother.  So give it a shot.  Everyone has a story.  Share it!

Here is one of my not so perfect mornings for me.  It's time for school again so this will be a good reminder for all us moms out there.  Enjoy!

Originally posted January 27, 2011

We all know the boy scout motto of "Be prepared." We've also heard the saying, "always wear clean underwear." Little did I know that those 2 phrases would apply to taking your 6 year old daughter to school. 

Twice a week I drive Kam to her school. Which in and of itself is really quite lame considering we live 2 1/2 blocks from the school. She will never be able to tell her kids and grandkids that she walked five miles, uphill, in 10 feet of snow to school and then in the same horrible conditions back home after school. Maybe she can brag about how she had the best mom in the entire world who warmed up the car and drove her those 2 1/2 blocks so she didn't have to freeze. Maybe?

On a normal day I just drive her and her 3 little girlfriends and kick them out at the curb. I don't see anybody, I don't talk to anybody and nobody sees what I'm wearing from my neck down. Until today. The kids hopped out and off they ran. As I flipped around and started my long journey home I noticed Kam on the ground surrounded by some teachers with big tears rolling down her cheek. She saw me and we made eye contact. The look on her face was so sad! I couldn't get to her fast enough. And then I realized what I was wearing. But again, being the great mom that I am I didn't skip a beat, I sucked up my pride (which I don't have much of to begin with), and I ran to her rescue.

She had slipped hard on a patch of ice and had skinned her chin and her knee leaving a hole in her pant leg. Dang! I hugged her and kissed her and comforted her the best I could. I told her about the time when I was in the 9th grade and was booking it to class, I slipped on a patch of ice and landed flat on my face. Literally! When I jumped up the look on my friend's face was pure horror. My first thought was that I was bleeding my brains out. To my relief I wasn't but I had a bump the size of an egg above my right eye. She took me in the office and every person we saw literally gasped at the sight of my face. (Not because they thought I was ugly or anything but because of my injury. I knew I should probably clarify.) I ended up at the hospital later that day for x-rays and such. Fortunately I was fine but just left with a major black eye that lingered for several weeks. I'm not really sure that my sharing of this story comforted her in any way. Pretty sure it didn't but oh well! I tried.

As I talked to her and loved her a lady walked by and asked, "Is everything okay?" It was a simple question but sometimes the weirdest thoughts go through this brain of mine. I was thinking: Is she genuinely concerned or does she think I'm trying to kidnap this beautiful, exotic little girl with brown skin and blond hair who could not by physical appearance be my child? I know! I know! I'm weird! I always over analyze everything! It drives my husband CrAzY! I honestly stumbled upon my words to answer her simple question.

Once Kam was ready I sent her on into the school and I headed back to my car. As I returned to my car I realized that I was a sight to behold. I knew that as I went to rescue my daughter but like I said before I had no pride. Well...that may not be entirely true. I do have a spec of pride left in these bones of mine.

Picture this: red flannel pajama pants that are suppose to be pants but they're somewhere between a pant and a capri. A pantpri! It wasn't pretty! Black, slip on slipper/shoes on my feet. One of the hub's old, big, frumpy sweatshirts with paint stains all over it. Not to mention the name of my high school across the front. (Pretty sure I've been out of high school for 15 years now.) Thankfully it hid the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra. A noticeably large pimple on my nose without a hint of concealer. Black make-up smudges under my eyes from the day before. (That's right. I don't wash my face.) Furry teeth that have yet to be brushed and hair that was frizzy and matted and had yet to be combed. Poor me!

As I drove the 2 1/2 blocks to my house I kept thinking to myself: One must always be prepared. This is why they say you should always wear clean underwear because you just never know what may happen. Lesson learned. But not really because I guarantee I look no different when I take Kam to school tomorrow. What are the chances that I have to get out of my car 2 days in a row? Slim to none right?

Weekend And This Weeks Wrap Up

I just wanted to share a few funny stories from my weekend.  

For me the weekends start on Thursday.  Thursdays are my husband's Fridays.  (He works odd hours.)  They end on Sunday for him but go until Monday for me.  Lucky me! Poor hubby! 

Last Thursday while in the shower my 3 year old came in the bathroom for something, left and closed the door behind him.  No big deal right?  WRONG!  Ya see, our bathroom door has one of those child proof door knob covers on it.  The kind that are suppose to keep little boys out that play in the toilet.  The kind that worked perfectly when the little boy was say, 2 and not potty trained.  The kind that the now 3 year old potty trained little boy has yet to figure out how to open.  I suddenly heard him pounding on the door shouting frantically at me to open it.  I started pounding on the wall for the 7 year old to come to the rescue.  She did.  It was too late.  He came in and said he had pooped on the rug!  Dang!  That child proof item backfired on me!  I felt really bad for him at that moment.  I felt worse when I realized the so called rug was the carpet. 

This is the same little boy who walked into the hitch on our SUV and while giving it a disgusted look I heard him say, "Stupid trucker!"  (I'm just glad he didn't replace the T and the R for another consonant.  He did that once when he was trying to rhyme.  He didn't know it was a bad word.  We had to have a little talk about different words that rhyme with the word duck.)

On Friday I ran some errands kid free.  I grabbed a DC, pumped up the jam, and headed on my way.  I made a few stops and then headed to my tax man's place to drop off some tax information.  (We still have to jump through hoops with our taxes because of our adoptions.  As if we didn't jump through enough when we adopted the children in the first place.  I will say though that I would jump through 500 hoops and a ring of fire if it meant having my 2 little beauties.  They are worth it!  As long s they aren't leaving turds on the rug!)  I got to the our tax man's office and realized I had grabbed the wrong folder.  I drove home and grabbed the right one and headed back.  I got to tax man's office again and was missing 2010 tax info.  Honestly!  I drove home AGAIN and couldn't find the 2010 info.  I called tax man to make sure that it really wasn't there. It wasn't.  I finally found it in a heap of papers that belonged to the hubs.  I headed back to tax man's office for the third time!  I guess the excitement of being kid free took over my brain and it no longer functioned properly.

Sunday we celebrated Father's Day.  I made the hubs a cute little treat that said "World's #1 Dad!"  Kam thought it meant, "World's 1st Dad!"  Cute but that would be wrong!

As we were leaving to head to dinner at my folks the hubs asked me if he looked stupid in his t-shirt and warm-up/lounge pants.  I said no.  He really didn't.  Kam started laughing and said, "Uh ya.  But maybe no one will notice."  He then realized he needed to get back in the house and asked me for the keys to unlock the door.  Kam's reply, "Why?  Are you going to go in and change your awkward pants?"  She's 7 and already embarrassed!  This is the same girl who on that same day told me, "Now that you keep the house clean I can't find anything!"  Never a dull moment!

Last night we had a going away party for my BIL.  He's the one headed off to West Point Military Academy.  We are so proud of him but we will miss him!  When I started dating the hubs he was only 2.  He's grown up before my eyes.  I'm sad to see him go but I'm also very proud! I drove home with a lump in my throat!  Kam's biggest concern is that he will get shot now that he has joined the Army.  I can't seem to help her understand that for now he is just going to school. 

Tomorrow the hubs and I are going on an all day date to Lagoon to celebrate our 13 year wedding anniversary.  It's what fun is!  It's the one and only amusement park here in Utah.  The one where you dream of going with your boyfriend and holding hands and making out on the rides.  The one where you hope your boyfriend wins you the biggest stuffed gorilla known to man.  It ain't no Caribbean Cruise but it will do!  Did I mention we won't have the children?  Holla!  Can't wait!  I'm not as young as I once was so I'm not so sure how I will do on all the roller coasters.  We may be riding the Ferris wheel and bumper cars a lot!

Have a Fab weekend my friends!  

Something New

Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to go on a girls weekend getaway with my mother-in-law and 3 of my sister-in-laws!  The hubby's graciously (ha ha) stayed home with the children.  We joked that it would have been fun to be a fly on the wall to see how they managed.  My hub seemed to manage just fine.  Moose told him he was "the best cooker!"  When I asked the hubs what he served him for dinner he said, "I buttered and toasted his hot dog bun, grilled him a hot dog and sliced up fresh kiwi, apples, and bananas."  Who would complain about that?  Not me.  Unless of course I didn't like hot dogs.  Even if that were the case the fact that the bun was lightly buttered and toasted would have made up for it!  Wouldn't you agree? 

We headed to Park City for a weekend of shopping, vegging, laughing and eating.  My brother-in-law and the baby of the family was nominated and picked to receive the All American Award in Lacrosse which just so happened to be presented to him in Park City!  Could things have worked out any more perfect?  I think not!  And so we were able to be there to watch him play in the All Star Game and then receive his award the following night.  We are so proud of him!  He is such a great kid and uncle.  Our kids are sure going to miss their Uncle T as he heads of to West Point in a few weeks from now.

Jen, Me, Shawna, Kelly, MIL Cindy, Baby bro Tory, and FIL Lynn.  Would you believe I started dating my hubs when Tory was 2?  Crazy!!!

Here we are at the Wasatch Brew Pub in Park City.  If you're wondering where to eat in Park City try this place and the Loco Lizard if you like Mexican food.  (Which btw is my favorite.  My husband is convinced that I should have been born a Mexican!)  

 Jenn, Me, Cindy, Shawna, Kelly

I had quite a few "FIRSTS" for me on this little trip and I thought that it would work to share it as my "Something New" for the week. 

My sis-in-law introduced me to a new food that has quickly become a favorite for me and now even the kids. Have you ever tried Laughing Cow Cheese?  If you haven't you should!  It is so good.  And the best part is it is only 35 calories per wedge.  We use it on bagels, wheat thins and even veggies.  It's quite tasty.  Kam and Moose will open a package and it's gone after only dipping 3 crackers!  I have only tried the Original Swiss flavor so that is the only one I can recommend.  And another tip from my SIL was to buy it at Sam's Club to get the most bang for your buck!

Our next new discovery on this vacay was this:

Does that say no sugar added you ask? Why yes!  Yes it does!  Oh...and why hot cocoa in May?  Well...ummm...we live in the land of snow and bitter cold weather that drags on and on and on and on!!!  Are we all on diets and crazy health nuts?  Not really but we are all trying to improve and eat better.  (Trying being the key word as I eat a stack of reduced fat oreos washed down with a Diet Coke.  I make no sense even to myself!)  My point is....this hot chocolate is delightful and is only 50 calories a serving.  Try it the next time the temperature drops below 30.  Which in our case could be tomorrow!

The next item isn't exactly new to me but I have only tried it once and it was a teeny tiny taste.  Even still I was sold.  If you really know me you're going to die because again...it's something healthy!  (Healthy and Tristin do not go hand in hand.  Seriously they don't.  You have no idea how big of a challenge it is for me to eat good!)  But this stuff is good.  Even the Moose Man liked it!  (Who am I kidding?  He eats anything!)   I have only tried the vanilla flavor but have heard that the chocolate is quite tasty.  That will be my next attempt!

For breakfast we were able to cook in the condo that we stayed in.  We decided to go with something filling, quick, and easy.  My SIL suggested egg sandwiches on bagels with turkey bacon.  And FYI-turkey bacon is really good too!  But here is the NEW catch.  Did you know you could cook an egg in the microwave?  Yep!  You can!  My SIL proved it!  Crack an egg or 2 or even some egg whites in a microwave safe mug.  Spray the mug with cooking spray first.  Stir with a fork.  Microwave for 60 to 75 seconds and watch it rise until it almost overflows over the cup.  It won't though!  Let your kids watch.  They'll think it's really cool!  It was so good and super filling!  (Oh...and spread some of that laughing cow cheese on your bagel and egg sandwich.  Yum!)

Me, SIL Jenn, and SIL Kelly

One night we rented a movie, ate our healthy snacks and kicked it.  I loved, loved, loved the movie we rented.  Have you seen this?  It was so cute, funny and sad all wrapped into one perfect chick flick!  Rent it now!

And last but not least....I bought something NEW!  I bought quite a few things that were new but I really splurged this time!  Again...if you know me well I'm cheap.  I shop the clearance racks and I love a good sale!  I'm certainly not Miss Money Bags so I like to stretch my dollar as far as I can.  One of my sisters once said that even if I was filthy rich I would still probably shop the clearance racks and have a hard time spending money.  She's right!  And to make things clear I don't have a hard time spending money.  I have a hard time spending money on a pair of jeans that cost more then $30 bucks!  Or buying a pair of shorts for a 6 year old that costs more than $10.  It sounds pathetic doesn't it?  Maybe it is but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do in these economic times.  Blah! Blah! Blah!  So what did I buy new you ask?  Better yet what didn't we buy?

I bought new pants, flip flops, swimsuit and a bra.  But the real "out of my element" purchase was a....hold onto your seats....a hat!  Oh my!  I know.  I'm a loser!  But I see all these girls around wearing hats and I think they look cute and I wanted to try it too.  Not to mention I get sick and tired of doing my hair every single day!  Every girl deserves a hat day every once in awhile!  

And although I may not be as trendy as all the other mom's out there at least I tried something new and I'm proud of that!

(Want to know what I did that was NOT new?  I said something stupid!  I tried to tell everyone that I don't know how to curl my hair with the Wii!  Idiot!  I DO know the difference!  I know that a Wii is NOT a tool used for doing hair and a flat iron is NOT for playing Mario Cart!)

Come back again for Something Borrowed!   

Remembering Grandma

Today I'm thinking of my Grandma Lois.  It's her birthday today.  She would have turned 89.  I think of her often and I miss her too but it doesn't make me sad.  Why?  Because I believe she's happy where she's at.  I also believe I will see her again someday and that makes me smile too!  Until then these are the things that I think of when I think about Grandma Lois:

-Jergens Cherry Almond lotion

-Scented candles burning in her house at ALL times

-Her tan legs, painted toenails and flip flops

-Sitting in HER chair reading a novel and drinking a Diet Coke or Pepsi

-going to her house on Sundays and eating Lucky Charms but mainly eating the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms

-Pepperidge Farm Goldfish

-Homemade Reuben Sandwiches (No one made them as good as she did)

-Helping her make her bed as she got older and how she wanted the bedspread put on a certain way by following the seam in the bedspread.  I never could figure out what in the hell she was talking about.

-Easter egg hunts

-She called my daughter Kami which is NOT her name.  Kam Bam aka Kami still remembers.

-Perfume

- Her fridge was ALWAYS stocked with soda and her cupboards full of cookies and candy

-Easter candy served at Christmas and Christmas candy served at Easter

-Her frail weak hands that couldn't even button up her own shirt

-Toaster Ovens

-Vacuums

-Clip on earrings (Which by the way my sister took to a bead shop and they turned her clip on earrings into rings for each of the granddaughters.  Brilliant!  Love mine!  And very vintage!)

-She always had gum in her purse.

-Taking her to JC Penney and then stopping for an Orange Julius and french fries

-Lunch breaks at her house during work

-Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners and her homemade pumpkin pie and mince meat. (Yucky mince meat.)

-Nagging and scolding grandpa
-crocheted covered hangers
-showing me as a kid how to make a pocket out of a paper napkin so I could fill it with snacks and goodies
-one of these cup dispensers in her downstairs bathroom

-ballet house slippers

-Ice cream and otter pops

-basketball games and pool

-picnics on the patio

-bike rides to her house from Providence to Logan and then hoping someone would drive us home

-her generous gifts and willingness to help her children and grandchildren

-Magazines to read on our Sunday visits

-Playing Guess Who, Go Fish, and Old Maid

These are the memories that I keep and cherish in my heart of my grandma.  One of my most special memories was being able to visit her as she was ill and dying in the hospital.  It may sound weird and a bit morbid but there was such a peaceful feeling during those times.  I'll never forget visiting her with my cousin about a month before she passed.  If I remember correctly she was on oxygen at the time and very difficult to understand.  I remember her saying something along the lines that we were "her girls."  And we were.  We did what we could to help her and serve her because she did so much for us and all her family.

 

On Halloween Day 2009 while surrounded by her family she peacefully passed away.  We each took a turn telling her we loved her and then my grandpa told her she could go and she did.  We were sad.  We cried.  And now we remember, laugh and celebrate her life.  Whenever I eat ice cream with the Magic Shell ice cream topping I think of Grandma.  When I wear my clip on earring ring I think of her.  When Kam plays dress up with one of her purses and I get a whiff of her perfume I'm reminded of Grandma.  When I sit on the bar stools in my kitchen that she sat on in her kitchen I think of her.  When I cook pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches on her griddle I crave one of her Reuben's.  When the kids and I play her Guess Who game I remember the hours spent at her house.  The memories flow vividly through my mind and her legacy lives on.

I love you grandma! 

A Mother's Day Tribute

When I was a child I occasionally remember hearing my mother say how she hated Mother's Day. I don't know why exactly but I THINK it had to do with the fact that she felt guilty. She didn't feel as if she was doing everything a mother should do. But I can tell you she was. I had an excellent mother who taught me well. Love you mom!

I too hated Mother's Day for many years but for different reasons. The hubs and I were married for 6 years before we became parents. As each Mother's Day rolled around I longed for my chance to become a mother. Now that I am a mother I don't hate Mother's Day. For me it's my one day of the year to NOT feel guilty but to be grateful for my role of mother. In fact this morning was the best. The kids surprised me with breakfast in bed. Their idea. They were so adorable and thanks to the help of my hubs it was really good. They lingered and sampled my eggs and toast. Moose crawled right into bed with me and shared my entire meal. He leaned over and gave me a great big bear hug and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" I said, "Thank you! I love being a mother!" His reply, "And I love being a kid!"

Today I want to pay tribute to 2 amazing women who gave me the opportunity to become a mother. They are probably at a stage in their lives where they might hate Mother's Day as I once did. Again for different reasons. I know that birth mother's don't get the recognition they deserve but for those who sacrificed and put their child's needs above their own I say thank you! Thank you for your selfless sacrifice of love!

So Happy Mother's Day to K and S! The hubs and I are forever indebted. We love you and Kam and Moose love you!

I May Not Be the Smartest Tool In The Shed

I know. I know. The saying is "sharpest tool in the shed." Or maybe you didn't even notice that I DIDN'T use the expression correctly for the title of this post.

I've mentioned before that I never say expressions and sayings correctly. It must run in the family because my sisters and sister-in-laws do the same thing. Mainly my sisters and I, but the SIL's have had a few mix ups too. (I better clarify. It's the SIL's on my side of the family not the hub's side.) The SIL's on my hubs side of the family are, shall I say, a tad smarter in that department. (Well except for one SIL who's name rhymes with Hen and who I know is laughing as she reads this!) Today's post is about the stupid things I say and do.....and the stupid and funny things my sisters and sister-in-laws say and do. I know I really shouldn't drag them into this but they have said some funny stuff over the years. And besides...I'm not naming names. I don't know about you but I love bloopers and outtakes from movies. I think America's Funniest Home Videos is funny. (Most the time.) Wipe It is hilarious if you ask me! I guess I just get a kick out of people making mistakes and looking like an idiot. Mainly because I'm "that" person.

Let's start with me. When I was in high school (I think it was my senior year) I drove an old gold Oldsmobile. It was not cute! The front light on one of the sides was smashed and the best part was the reverse didn't work. (It had a nick name but I shall not share it here.) Whenever I drove it anywhere I had to make sure to pull into a "getaway spot" or a parking stall that I didn't have to back out of. At school I did this but my boyfriend at the time (who shall remain nameless but who I'm married to now) would park his car in front of my car so I couldn't leave. My friends and I had to stand around and wait until he decided to come and move his car. Good times and good memories.

One day my sister and I drove down to the gas station so I could put some air in a flat tire. I had never filled a tire before. I thought that somehow the tire would know when it was full and the air would stop going in. Kinda like when you pump gas. I'm an idiot! Yes, that's right. The tire popped! It was so freaking loud and scared the you know what out of me. I didn't get hurt except that I was temporarily deaf for a few days. My sister was laughing hysterically. I kind of called her some bad names and said bad words to her. She deserved it at the time! Lesson learned: Never put air in your car tires! Let your husband, dad, boyfriend or brother do it for you.

Several years ago when I worked at the bank we hired a new girl. For days I called her Bambi. She never corrected me. Eventually she informed me that her name was Barbie. Doh! They're close enough right? At least they both start with B!

While typing a family email I commented that I had better go check on my daughter next store. Not next "door" but next "store". Oops!

While saying a prayer at a family gathering where we were celebrating a birthday I prayed that we could "worship" so and so on their Birthday.

One day my sister was telling me a story about something someone said or did. She said, "Oh well. I'll just take it with a great assault!" Great Assault huh? Okay you do that sis! This same sis got a round brush stuck in her hair. You know...the ones that look like this:
Oh...you wondered how old she was at the time? Nope. She wasn't 4. Ummm....lets just say she was old enough to drive to my mother's work to have it cut out with a pair of scissors!

Another sister and I were talking about going to a certain store and she said she doesn't like to go because, "It's like dangling a horse in front of a carrot." Poor carrot!

This same sister was wearing a nice set of jewelry when she went to the doctor right after Christmas. One of the nurses there commented on how much she liked her jewelry to which my sister replied. "Oh thanks. My husband stocked my stuffing." What a man!

My sister in law was talking with her grandpa and he remarked how old he was getting. She said, "Grandpa, you're as sharp as a whistle!" Now that's a compliment.

The same said sis-in-law tried calling me for a couple of days never to get a hold of me. She had been calling the wrong number. She also had been getting a voicemail box and leaving messages such as, OMG! WTH? CMB! Eventually a kind girl answered the phone and my SIL said, "Tristin I have been trying to get a hold of you for 2 days. Why aren't you answering your phone?" To which the girl replied, "This isn't Tristin. This is Marcella." To which my SIL said, "Ohhh! Hi Marcella" said in a sassy sarcastic tone. (Still at this time thinking it was me playing a joke on her.) At that point my sis-in-laws other phone started ringing and she told poor Marcella to "have Tristin call me" and hung up. She didn't figure it all out until she started comparing phone numbers with her husband. Poor Marcella was receiving my messages from my crazy SIL for days. (PS. I love you Corky.)

My other sister in law used to listen to the Elton John song "Tiny Dancer" and thought that it said, "Hold me closer Tony Danza." She also thinks that Elton probably wouldn't mind if Tony Danza held him closer.

So as you can see, we may not be the "smartest" or "sharpest" tools in the shed but we're pretty darn funny if I don't say so myself. (Or is it, If I do say so myself?)

Looking For the Silver Lining

I don't consider myself a natural born optimist. It's something that I work on every day. Tonight as I was lying next to the Moose Man as he drifted off into slumber I reflected on my day. Today was a good day. There were a few mishaps throughout the day but I realized that even though that was the case the outcome was still good.

It started with a surprise visit from my adorable niece and nephew who I haven't seen in months. Their chubby little faces and sweet little voices made me smile.

The remainder of the day was smooth sailing until we hit dinner time. Why is it that when the clock strikes 4:30 all hell breaks lose? Kids are starving and begging for food. There is homework to be completed, dinner to be made, dishes to clean up, baths to be had, teeth to be brushed, prayers to be said and FINALLY piggyback rides to bed, smooches and ooches and then...shut eye. Then throw into the mix a failed dinner, an argument with the hubs and a meltdown with the girl. Here's how it went down.

I made a BIG pot of chili for dinner and homemade breadsticks. I doubled the batch of chili because I wanted to share some with a friend and her family tomorrow. I was feeling pretty good about myself knowing that tomorrow I wouldn't be frantic trying to prepare a meal and get it delivered by a certain time. But then...I tasted the chili. Not so good. It wasn't that it was awful but it had a funny flavor. I'm pretty sure the chili powder I used was a tad too old. I was not happy! I borrowed some decent chili powder from a neighbor in hopes that maybe that would fix the problem or at least mask out the weird flavor. It didn't really seem to work. I was even more upset. Not only did it mean more work for me tomorrow when I had to make another batch of something for my friend, but it was money wasted on a food that no one was going to eat. At least we had our yummy breadsticks. Breadsticks and milk for dinner it was.

As I was lying with Moose tonight while he drifted off into slumber I decided that if there was something I was going to be grateful for it would be the fact that at least I had time to come up with something different. What would I have done had I made it tomorrow when I was suppose to deliver it to them. Then what? Then I would have been in a complete panic.

After supper Kam was watching something on the computer. I told her she could finish watching the remaining 10 minutes after she did her reading. After she completed her reading I asked her to brush her teeth and then she could finish what she was watching. Oh my! You would think I had told I was going to cut off her legs. Surprisingly I kept my cool as she marched off down the hall and slammed the bathroom door. Awww! The teenage years are going to be fantastic! After she brushed her teeth she stomped off to her bedroom and slammed the door again. Several minutes later a note comes sliding under her door and Moose the Mailman deliveries me my message.

It said: "Mom do not come in because I am not happy!"

I wrote back and slipped it back under her door. It said: Okay. But I love you!

A few minutes later Moose the Mailman deliveries me another letter.

Her reply: I love you best!

Do ya see the silver lining there? I do. She then came out of her room and gave me a big squeeze. I love that girl!

Prior to the failed supper fiasco the hubs and I had a small fight. He ran to the store for something and came back with this:

and this:

He called it his peace offering. Nevermind flowers. This girl likes FOOD! It made me smile! Again, a silver lining.

I'm reminded today that there is good to be had all around us if we just look.

Oh and just for fun. This is how the kids looked when they walked to the neighbor's house to get the chili powder I needed. Moose said he was "Fatso Boy" and Kam said she was "Strong Girl."

Ya know what else made me laugh today? When Myles claimed he "broke a bone" and needed crotchers.

Last but certainly not least I just want to say how thankful I am for these 2 beauties. This week is National Infertility week. Having suffered from infertility and wondering if I would ever have children I know how difficult it can be. But there is hope. And there is a silver lining. And good things will come to those who wait. And I can honestly say, the wait is so worth it!

My Greatest Gifts

I didn't GIVE you the gift of life,

But in my HEART I know.

The LOVE I feel is deep and real,

As if it HAD BEEN so.

For us to have EACH OTHER

Is like a DREAM come true!

No, I didn't GIVE you

The GIFT of life,

Life gave me the GIFT of YOU!

Author Unknown