A Case of Stolen Identity

Last week I was somewhere where a lady asked me what I liked to do. What were my hobbies? I think my answer was, "Uhhhh.....ummm....let me think. I like to read. I used to scrapbook. I like crafts but don't make them much anymore. I can tell you what I liked to do before I had children."

The more I have thought about this question of "what do I like to do" the more I realize that the things I enjoy and my hobbies have kind of evolved over the years. Ask me what I liked when I was single. (It wasn't dating that's for dang sure! I never was much of a boy magnet.) I liked going to aerobics. I can't believe I am even saying that. It's hard to believe that there was a time in my life when I actually enjoyed exercise. But if there was ever a time that was it. I loved road trips with my "bestie" to St. George. I loved being a groupie in a band. (It sounds kind of nerdy now. Probably was nerdy then but then again I wasn't the coolest kid on the block! I had fun and I guess that is what was important.) I liked scrapbooking and sending packages to my missionary and I loved shopping. Especially with my girlfriends or my sisters. And even back then I loved a good book to read!

Now fast forward a few years. I get married and what are my hobbies then? I still read. I still scrapbook. Aerobics...not so much! I put on a few pounds. I take up some new hobbies though. I go on bike rides with the hub. We camp and fish. We go to movies and go on dates. Just the 2 of us or sometimes with our friends. We road trip together and go on fun little vacations. We tried snowshoeing. I took up doing crafts and even sewing a bit. I start to enjoy cooking and baking a little more and start to try new recipes.

Fast forward 6 years. We FINALLY have a babe! Our LONG awaited bundle of joy! We are ecstatic! Our world revolves around her. But then....I realize that there is no more "pick up and go." There is no more, "Lets go to the movie tonight," at the very last minute. The spontaneity is gone! I feel a bit like a slave in a way. But that's okay because she is worth it. Walks and trips to the park become our new routine. Reading books, watching cartoons and coloring. The days of shopping for moi are gone. But that's okay too because she is so much more fun to shop for anyway. I continue to learn to cook and bake more and better. I gain even more weight. (Which is another reason I'd rather shop for baby girl.)I still read here and there. And scrapbooking? Forget about it. What is the point of getting everything out and then having to pick it all up and put it away again after 1 hour so baby girl doesn't get into everything? This is where digital scrapbooking peaks my interest. Is there time? Not really but I make time here and there. I take up running. Not sure why but I actually kind of like it. I start running 5K's and 10 K's. I feel empowered. But do I stay consistent? What do you think?

Fast forward again 3 more years. Baby boy comes! Cutest little boy EVER! I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. My dream! But then my dream becomes a reality and reality ain't always fun. But again...it's sooo worth it! Money is tight so shopping isn't really an option. BUT...if I do shop it's for the kiddies. Baking becomes my new coping mechanism. I enjoy trying new recipes and baking all sorts of yummy cookies and brownies that go straight to my thighs. And it makes me feel better. For a minute. I still read. When I have a moment. I take up blogging. That's kinda fun. When I actually stick to it! During the summer months we still go the park, play in the yard, go camping as a family, take bike rides and walks. During the winter months....we play playdough, watch lots of movies and frequent McDonald's playland. I had no clue that I would come to depend on McDonald's as a form of entertainment for my kids and another coping mechanism for myself. Thank you McDonald's for having the BEST Diet Coke for only .99 cents! You complete me!

Now my girl is turning 7 this year and my boy is 3. Life is getting simpler now in some ways. I even mentioned to the hubs that I think I have found my groove again. I'm back! But then that means my kids are growing up. Do I want to have my old life back full of shopping, and being a band groupie, and aerobics and spontaneity? Not really. I kind of like being a mom now on most days. My hobbies now include my kids. McDonald's isn't so bad as long as it puts a smile on the children's sweet little faces. I like reading children's books, walks to the park, watching cartoons, and playing playdough and if I can squeeze a date with the hubs, a good read, a run, or a minute alone to myself then that makes me happy too.

For awhile I thought I was lost. The old me was gone forever. I couldn't figure out how to be Tristin and a mom. It was no longer about what I wanted but what my babies needed. It's been tough trying to adapt to my new identity but now I think I get it. I'm TRISTIN the MOTHER of the most wonderful beings in the world! I can be both it just requires patience and sacrifice.